Don’t Swing to the Other Side: Finding Balance After Silencing Yourself

Many clients come to me worried that after years of silencing their needs, they might “overcorrect” — saying every thought in their head and potentially hurting their relationships. It’s a very common concern. Here are a few thoughts I share that can help you on your healing journey.

Feelings aren’t something to be feared.
The longer we push our emotions away or silence ourselves, the more they build up. They often show up in unhealthy patterns — like holding everything in until we explode, blaming others for our difficult feelings, or trying to influence someone else’s behavior. Even if you think you’re keeping it all inside, those feelings are still there — and they can still impact you and your relationships. Read about codependency to learn more.

You don’t have to say every thought immediately.
Learning discernment is key. Start by writing down your feelings and allowing yourself to calm emotionally before sharing them. This isn’t about silencing yourself further — it’s about being a healthy, grounded partner in relationships. If you feel like you’re about to explode, that may not be the right time to share. But that doesn’t mean you should never share; sometimes speaking up, even when it feels scary, is exactly what you need. It’s about learning balance.

Reclaiming your true desires takes support.
If you’ve spent years abandoning your own needs, working with a therapist can help you develop the skills to express yourself safely and authentically. Doing this work, you and your relationships can grow healthier — and you can finally honor your own voice.

You are worth it. Contact me today to schedule a free consultation about your specific situation.