Couples therapy for parents of an addicted adult child in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, & New York.

Yes, I currently have availability.

Most couples come to me with at least some (if not all) differing opinions about how to handle boundaries with their addicted adult child. That doesn’t mean your family is doomed: It often means you both can offer helpful solutions during different parts of your child’s recovery journey. My job is to help you practice healthy relationship skills that you can expand to also having with your adult child, the rest of your family, and even work. I believe in the phrase, “the way you do one thing is the way you do everything”.

It will most likely reduce if not eliminate the guilt.

Guilt is oftentimes a placeholder for incredibly painful fear that there was something we could’ve done to prevent our adult child’s addiction or stained relationship with our partner. The reality is that no one is perfect and humans are primed for codependency due to the way our bodies cope with trauma. Guilt will likely soften because we learn all the factors that support the adult child’s continued addiction and step out of all of the patterns we have control over.

What remains is more like a calm, clear-eyed assessment. You may still feel sadness at times, but you will also feel a sense of optimism that hasn’t existed in years, and especially when you notice your adult child making some healthier choices.

The trauma-driven reactions (the fear of setting boundaries, obsession with whether or not they’re taking their medications or going to meetings, ruminating thoughts about where your parenting went wrong to cause their addiction) will likely dissipate as I provide education and compassionate coaching about ways to step out of those cycles.

What will remain is a hopefulness that your child can recover and exactly what role you can play in that process that will support both their and your own mental well-being. We will also focus on healing the way the stress deteriorated the relationship with your spouse and moving forward to a greater connection than you have ever had, even prior to your child’s addiction.

After years or decades of chronic stress, it is completely understandable that you feel “at the end of your rope”. Couples Family Systems Therapy will help you finally metabolize and let go of the big emotions that are keep you stuck in a holding pattern with your ex, partner, and adult child. Those overwhelming emotions may include but are not limited to fear, rage, grief, anxiety, and depression. Once these emotions no longer are controlling you, you can decide on your next steps from a grounded, confident place (even if you’re divorced, you’ll still always be connected because they’re your child’s parent). It will feel strange at first, but we will go at a pace you can tolerate and I help you make decisions that are best for you; I’m not one more provider telling you what’s best for you. I help you reconnect with your natural intuition and peace that feels so far in the past.

Codependency Therapy or Couples Therapy: these forms of therapy keep you stuck in a holding pattern or don’t go far enough to create lasting behavior and emotional change. They focus solely on examining you and your partner’s unmet needs from childhood that are repeating today with your partner and addicted adult child. Family Systems Therapy for Couples helps you review your own families’ generational behavioral patterns (which de-personalizes issues today, thereby decreasing stress, anxiety, and helping you identify a clear pathway forward) and engages multiple members in the healing process (you and your partner) to increase the chances of changing family patterns for good.

Family groups: I encourage clients to concurrently attend family groups if they’re interested. These provide a sense of mutual support. However, most clients have told me that Family Systems Therapy for Couples helps them bring more in-depth content to groups so they can heal the family system in months instead of decades.

12-step groups: Again, Family Systems Therapy for Couples often works in months instead of decades. While 12-step groups can provide a sense of needed community support and I encourage people to attend groups if it is helpful to them, group members often struggle to break out of codependency patterns by giving unsolicited advice, getting emotionally caught up in “what worked” for others and reaching repeated dead ends, and even using avoidance ('“Let Go and Let God”) versus realizing the benefits of lovingly holding boundaries sand remaining connected to their addicted adult child. In sessions with me, we can discuss how to use free content to your advantage rather than get bogged down in superfluous information or unhealthy advice.

I’m really glad you’re interested in working together!

Unfortunately, I’m unable to offer free consultation calls due scheduling constraints. To make things easier, I’ve put together detailed information on my website that walks you through what it’s like to work with me and answer most questions immediately.

I’m also currently adding video content to this site, so you can digest the information that way, as well.

That said, I know every situation is unique. If you’re unsure if this is the best fit, or you have a question that isn’t addressed on the site, please reach out via my contact form.

You are also always welcome to schedule an Initial Appointment and make a decision about whether you’d like to work together after that. I am confident that most clients find therapy with me vastly different and much more impactful than past therapies.

Unfortunately, no. Therapy sessions are exclusively virtual through a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform.

I work with clients located anywhere throughout Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York.

If you are located outside of the United States, there is a chance I can work with you. Pleas contact me to discuss your situation.

Couples Sessions: $500/ 50 min session

Longer Sessions or “Intensive Programs” are prorated.  Upon request, an “Intensive” is short term therapy, intentionally designed for you.  Intensives are extended sessions, for a defined time, and focus on a very specific therapeutic goal (e.g., 3 hours per week for 3 weeks to make a decision to continue a relationship with your partner or not, or get on the same page with your partner about how you will handle boundaries and your child’s most recent relapse). Programs are designed exclusively for you and your partner upon request.

Also, if scheduling is a challenge or you are trying to achieve quicker results, I am happy to develop a plan with you and your partner to execute the goal on a timeline that works for you. 

I meet with couples at a minimum of one 50 minute session per week.

I am considered an “out-of-network” provider with insurance companies. Many insurance plans offer “OON benefits” to help offset the cost of going to an OON provider.   Due to OON providers often completing highly specialized training programs (such as myself), they decide not to work with insurance companies.  If you have OON benefits included with your insurance plan,  I am happy to provide you with a receipt you can submit the insurance company for possible reimbursement.

Please use my self-scheduling link here.

The Initial Appointment is 70 minutes and subsequent appointments are 50 minutes. I see all clients at least weekly. The reason for his is to maintain consistency and encourage therapeutic depth-work. After working with clients on an as needed basis, I realized that it was difficult if not impossible to all but guarantee the outcomes I currently do when we are not meeting consistently.

If you’re not sure whether Couples Family Systems Therapy is right for you, you can start with a single 70-minute session and then decide whether to commit to weekly.

Either way, most clients have made significant progress in 3-6 months, not years of weekly appointments.

Based on my past experiences with couples, most clients experience significant reduction in stress and an increase in hopefulness after the first session. It typically takes 3-6 months to thoroughly transform your ability to consistently hold boundaries, overcome guilt, and be confident that the changes you’re making are creating an environment where it is as likely as possible that your adult child and your relationship with your spouse can fully recover.

Yes, though out-of-network reimbursement differs considerably across plans. My 70-minute intake and 50-minute sessions may fall outside of standard insurance time increments, so reimbursement can be uncertain.

Payment is required at the time of booking. A monthly Superbill can be provided upon request for insurance submission.

I use a HIPAA-compliant app called Ivy Pay. Within 24 hours of booking, you will receive a text “request” to your phone to “add a card on file”. For weekly sessions, your card will be charged upon booking for the next week.

I see couples on Friday from 8am-5:30pm and Saturday 8am-12pm Eastern Standard Time.

If you need a time outside of my schedule please feel free to reach out via my contact form.

After you request a session via my contact form or email, or book a session via my calendar, I will send you your new client intake forms (you complete them electronically).

If you don’t receive these forms, please email me at ayla@aylaflemingllc.com.