Why me?

• I offer both in-depth professional and personal experience.

• I know how excruciating and confusing it is to start to change longstanding family addiction dynamics.

• I grew up in a family where addiction and others obsessing over “filling in the gaps” of addicted loved ones’ neglected responsibilities was “normal” (as many of us parents do).

• I became highly attuned to my addicted loved ones’ suffering, but ultimately burned out due to endlessly trying to “fix” family who felt controlled and offended by me and didn't believe there was a problem; they felt the problem was “my over-sensitivity”.

• Later in life, I unconsciously chose addicted romantic partners who I thought needing fixing, almost compulsively. Honestly, this “over-functioning/ avoidance” dynamic felt like “home” to me- but was also deeply exhausting, infuriating, and unsustainable; but I felt like a “bad” person for resenting them, leaving them, or ever saying “no”.

• I would recurrently come to a breaking point where I felt I had to choose “them or me”, because I was so physically and mentally exhausted.

It took me decades to undo unconscious habits, but I eventually learned to:

• Not just set boundaries, but follow through on holding them (the latter is the important part)

• Trust my intuition and follow through on protecting my peace

• Manage my energy

• Prioritize self-care

• Recognize that I didn’t need a “perfect” partner or addicted loved one to stay emotionally close; I needed people who could respect limits, hold my own limits, and seek to flood my life with people who were capable of respecting my boundaries and growing with me. These relationships would sustain my healthy thinking especially during hard times with my addicted loved ones.

• And whenever I felt unsure of a relationship, I learned to heal my own wounds, decide which of my own limits I was ignoring, and then reset those boundaries.

• I learned to hold boundaries not just in theory, but in practice- I allowed myself to take some healthy distance from all stressful situations in order to calm my nervous system and only then came clarity.

• I learned skills to calm my anxiety while I allowed others experience the natural consequences of their actions.

• I learned how to calmly express my needs and desires, even when they differed from my addicted loved ones.

The stress is an invitation to transform your generational legacy.